At long last, the time was upon us. It had been three days of waiting, wondering, and praying. We all knew it couldn't go on much longer, and that very soon, the waiting would be over.
As Tuesday crept into Wednesday, I was laboring so intently that I felt like I was in another world. I was in the worst part of labor and I felt like I was dying. I was just to ready for it all to be over that I started to push. I didn't feel 'the urge' that some people talk about; I just pushed because I thought it meant I would be done faster! I didn't realise how much more energy I would burn having to push with every contraction, but I really didn't care. I wanted that baby OUT. It was around 1:30 in the morning when I started pushing. I stayed in the pool for a while, but then it became clear that I couldn't get enough strength while I was in the water. Donna forced me to get out (trust me, I didn't want to!) and sat me on the birth stool, which looks (and feels!) like a medieval torture device. I'm thankful that it didn't help, because she quickly let me get off and lay on the bed. She had me on my back, which is precisely how people tell you not to push, but it worked, and that's all we cared about.
I had Andrew behind me, holding me and soothing me with each contraction. I was surrounded by my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my midwife, her assistant, my photographer, and her sister. It was kind of like a big party in between contractions! :P They all cheered me on as I pushed Anna to crowning, and reassured as she stayed there for half an hour. It was almost over, and the finish line was in sight for all of us. After 9 months of pregnancy, more than 60 hours of steady labor, and almost 3 hours of pushing, my little girl was ready to make her debut. Everyone cheered when her head was delivered and they could finally see that little face we had all been waiting for. I felt like I had nothing left in me, and I just wanted to stop, but I could see her. I could see the baby I had waited my whole life for, so I dug down deep in my soul and scraped out the last drop of energy I could find. I closed my eyes, and I pushed. And then, all of a sudden, there she was.
This little tiny person, so helpless, was there waiting for me. I took her under the armpits and pulled her up to my chest, and at that moment, I felt complete. I had missed her so much without ever having met her, and then she was there in my arms. There are no words for how that moment felt, with my husband behind me and my daughter on my chest; our little family was finally together. I cried and cried that moment as I became a mother. I had fulfilled the calling that God had sent me, and my life was totally changed forever. Then I realized that the little girl on my chest, wrapped in a towel and looking into my eyes, was totally dependent on me for everything, and if that's not a humbling feeling, I don't know what is!
It was around that time that Donna noticed something was off about her. She wasn't as pink as she should have been (she was kind of purple), she wasn't crying, and her muscle tone was terrible. She took her from me and started doing mouth-to-mouth. I was still in a daze and flooded with oxytocin, but I found a way to be terrified. Donna was reassuring me that she was okay and just needed some help, but seeing my new, tiny baby being put on oxygen was petrifying. The room adopted a tense hush as she worked, helping Anna breathe and palpitating her chest. I don't think anybody really breathed until almost an hour, when I was handed back a pink, squirming baby. Nine people breathed simultaneous sighs of relief, and the bonding began all over again. Andrew cut her cord, and she was officially no longer connected to me.
One year later, she is a bright, beautiful, smart little girl with the friendliest personality. She can tel you what a cow and a chicken say, and show you her nose. She waves at everyone she meets, and talks up a storm. She is so loved, by so many people, and I don't think she will ever really know how much she is loved. I know that God has an amazing plan for her, and I am so excited to be able to sit back and watch her grow into the amazing woman I know she will be. I have been, and always will be, so incredibly blessed to be her mother. <3
The first moment I held my baby.
When we realized she was a little too purple.
Our first family picture <3
When Anna met her Daddy <3
The cutting of the cord!
John 16:21: When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
1 Samuel 1:27: I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
John 16:21: When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
1 Samuel 1:27: I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
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